Online Dating: How to Overcome the Stress and Nerves with the First Date

 Online Dating: How to Overcome the Stress and Nerves with the First Date

As an individual raised with little opportunity to develop social skills, I had a particularly difficult time with the dating scene. I am happily married now, but during my years of dating, I felt that it would never happen. With the many years using online dating services, I have learned many useful ways of establishing positive initial interaction. In this article I will share with you ideas that will give you a little more ease with dating and coping with the anxiety on the first date.

First, there are a few questions we must address and bring out into the open. How much should we get to know the potential date before meeting? What discussion or prefacing is required with your potential date prior to the meeting? How does this potential date feel about you, or does this person also share in this anxiety? After the rendezvous is established where will you meet to insure safety, enjoyment and relaxation?

Lets dive into the first question: How much should we get to know the potential date before meeting? This question begs of the actual legitimacy of the potential date. Is this, person really genuine? What is this persons background? These questions are not as easy to answer, but we can start with the following. The method of communication is incredibly important. Phone communication although a little nerve racking, can break the ice and establish an initial understanding of who this person is. Try to avoid creating a mental image of this person as this can really increase expectations and also give the other person an unfair disadvantage (i.e. relating the voice to a physical mental image). The phone conversation can also shed light on this person’s general character.

This leads to what discussions or prefacing is required. It is important to acknowledge that this place we live is very diverse and the person’s character is one of the most important attributes of desirability. Be softly direct when inquiring about his or her background without invoking the feeling that you are drilling the person which is a real “turn-off”. I have used this idea many times which turn’s out to be a really enjoyable exercise. Write down a few background questions to ask prior to calling the potential date and go from there. The conversation can take on with its own energy from there and it will be very easy to get a good feeling for the person. That is to say, if the person is not forthright, it will most likely come through in the conversation.

In most cases, the other person will exhibit the same anxiety as you. Keep this in mind, as it will help your nerves a little. Being confident, honest, direct and respectful will help you and the date feel an increased level of comfort whether your on the phone, or on the first date.

On this first date, make sure that you select, or mutually agree to a place that will help the date flourishes but keep the other person wanting more. Obviously, you should select a meeting place that is well lit and where there will be many eyes watching you for increased safety. However, the place that you will spend the most time should be softly lit so that most of the concentration can be focused on the content of the conversation and less on physical characteristics. More importantly, span the first date no more than that of a small snack. You can consider this a “weed-out” session. If there is chemistry during the date, he or she will leave waiting more. Conversely, if there is no chemistry, not much time was lost and not much money was spent.

Remember, these important ideas to engender ease and confidence during the initial contact through online dating services. Choose a method of communication prior to the meeting that will help you determine the persons forthrightness. Understand that the other person is probably feeling the same level of anxiety to which you can offer the comfort. Finally, choose a place that demonstrates safety and allows for a short but memorable experience.

Russian Bride Agency Conspiracies (Guest Blogger)

 

Russian Bride Agency Conspiracies

Posted bylabrat1952 June 11, 2020 Leave a commenton Russian Bride Agency Conspiracies

Russian Bride Agency Conspiracies

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You read all over the internet NEGATIVE OPINIONS about how Russian Bride agencies run their business. It almost seems that everyday there is a new conspiracy developing over such-n-such agency and how they DO BUSINESS. That their agency is a scam, the Russian women are fake and the forever thundering echo of “I’ve paid nearly $200 and not one girl has ever written me back!” I’ve even heard men say that almost all of the Russian Bride sites have the same girls, that a truly great agency won’t share their girls, etc. But my friends, there are always TWO SIDES to every story, and perhaps after reading this article, you will think twice BEFORE blasting out your own conspiracy theory….

CONSIDER THIS:

There are many dating sites that contain the same profiles. When I was a member of Match.com so many years ago, I used to see the same girls all the time on other sites as well, such as matchmaker.com, udate and yahoo personals. We all joined multiple sites to spread ourselves out — to have more options. And during that time, I can say that I joined nearly every site imaginable. So would you agree that all of these sites are involved in some kind of conspiracy because they have the same profiles?

A man searching for a Russian bride joins 2-3 sites at once, writes to many ladies, gets his photo in the site catalogue that is presented to Russian women… so that’s 3 site catalogues he is now a member of. The ladies see his photo in 3 different catalogues and begin to wonder… is he involved in a conspiracy then too, simply because he has joined 2-3 different Russian Bride sites?

A man describes himself as being wealthy, good looking and successful… and he sends out 400 emails telling Russian women how he is a God in bed, how women love him and worship the ground he walks upon. How he loves to have cybersex and invites all Russian women to join him in on the fun… yet not one letter was returned. Is this a conspiracy?

BOTTOM LINE:

Business is business — always has been and always will be. Part of the success to any dating site is having a large database to attract new customers. Profiles hardly ever get removed — and while some do remove the old profiles, most do not. My profile is still on many of the other dating sites and I can’t get them to remove it because I forgot the email address I used to sign up with. This was 5 years ago too!

Russian girls are human too — and they spread themselves out too by joining many different marriage agencies. Many of the Russian bride sites use real marriage agencies located in Russia, and many of these agencies are NOT exclusive to just one bride site. They are all in business to make money, so you cannot blame them for spreading themselves out too. And after a while, these same Russian girls forget which marriage agencies they joined up with, lose contact or whatever, and their profiles stay forever in the database. It’s part of the dating business and will always be like that. Nobody’s fault really — but don’t blame a dating agency for not deleting a profile simply because a user has forgotten to contact them and tell them to remove it.

Agencies are not the bad guys nor the good guys. They are a business, plain and simple. They have a list of over 30,000 clients, some even more — so do you really expect them to call every single women and ask if their still single? Does match.com do that? For the record, does any dating site do that? Of course not and it’s ludicrous to think that they should.

And what about writing those letters and not getting any responses? Well, what about it?!! Write some more and keep on truckin’! Not everyone is going to think you’re as great as YOU seem to know that you are. That’s life… get used to disappointment. I sent out probably thousands of letters in my 4 years of online dating, and at best, I might have gotten maybe a 15% return rate. In my opinion, that is actually pretty good too. Online dating is not easier, so don’t be a fool and think it is. It only gives you more options to meeting more people — but along side of that also comes more rejections.

So the next time you hear a negative”Opinion” about how Russian dating agencies are handled, just remember one thing… they are in business to make money; and whether or not the practices of certain agencies might be argued as being ILLEGITIMATE, you always still have the choice of NOT JOINING. If you believe a certain agency carries a lousy reputation, then why bother joining it in the first place? Just move on and find another site to join that you feel more comfortable with. Good luck!

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• The Truth About Russian Dating
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• June 14, 2020

• Russian Dating Scams: Facts, Guidelines & Warning Flag —
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• May 15, 2020

• How My First Encounter With a Russian Dating Scammer Stressed My Mental Faculties
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• April 29, 2020

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Secret Flirting Tips and Flirting Advice for Meeting, Dating and Romancing Hot Single Girls.

Discover secret flirting tips and flirting advice for meeting, dating and romancing hot single girls. If done right, they might flirt back!

I know, I know who wants to get flirting advice from a middle-aged man? When you picture this situation, you probably see yourself sitting in front of the television, beer in hand, trying not to roll your eyes at the flirting advice coming from the mouth of a man with a beer gut and a middle-aged wife nagging him. Conversely, you might be envisioning getting flirting advice from a smooth-talking guy with slicked-back hair who gets the ladies because hes got deep pockets. But this is not that kind of flirting advice and its not coming from that kind of middle-aged man. No, instead, this middle-aged man is the one who is average looking and of average income but who has years of experience in the changing world of flirtation and has developed flirting advice which works more often than not. This flirting advice is good for both men and women of any sexual orientation.

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The best of the flirting advice gained through hard experience is the rule that if you've got it, flaunt it. This is followed quickly by the lesson that if you don't have it, you shouldn't display it. This flirting advice applies not only to the physical but also to other levels of flirting interaction. How many times have you been around that guy who told a joke, and everyone laughed to be polite, so he told a dozen more? You don't want to be that guy.

What you learn as you go through years of flirting is that there are very few people who have it all. You just aren't going to be the most beautiful, smartest, most powerful, most charming, funniest person in the room, because that one person just doesn't exist. As a middle-aged man, I'm just not going to have the body of a twenty-year-old guy. But what I do have is my own collection of traits and experiences. The best flirting advice I can offer is that you have to realize what your strengths are and make use of displaying those strengths to others in a way, which is natural for you. The purpose of flirtation is to interest another person in you, so showing them what's great about you is the way to go.

The other critical piece of flirting advice I can offer is that flirting is supposed to be fun. You should enjoy it for what it is, rather that always aiming for a specific goal and being disappointed if you don't achieve it. For example, if you are flirting with a girl across the room at a club, and she invites you to dance, but you don't leave with her number, you can have two reactions. One is to be disappointed that your flirtation didn't lead to a whirlwind romance. The other is to be happy with the fact that your flirtation interested her in dancing and you probably had a good time while doing it. Flirtation doesn't always lead to satisfaction, which is what keeps us all interested in the game. It's the reason that people who are perfectly happy in their committed relationships often flirt with others. We like to be liked and some of the best flirting advice I've found is that there should be just as much pleasure in the chase as there is in the catch.

Related to this is the flirting advice which starts with being comfortable with who you are. As you get older, you realized that most people aren't paying attention to your flaws nearly as much as you are. You are your own worst critic when you should be your own best friend. If you take nothing else away from this flirting advice, take this: if you are a person who enjoys flirting and does it appropriately, your flirtation will usually be well received.

THE PRINCESS WHO WOULD NOT SMILE (A Russian Folktale)

THE PRINCESS WHO WOULD NOT SMILE

If you think of it, what a big world God’s world is: in it rich and poor folk live, and there is room enough for them all; and the Lord overlooks and judges them all. There are fine folk who have holidays, there are wailful folk who must moil; every man has his lot.

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In the Tsar’s palace, in the Prince’s chamber, every day the Princess Without a Smile grew fairer. What a life she had, what plenty, what beauty round her! There was enough of everything that exists that the soul may desire, but she never smiled, never laughed, and it seemed as though her heart could not rejoice at anything.

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It was a bitter thing for the Tsar her father to gaze at his doleful daughter. He used to open his imperial palace to whoever would be his guest. “Come,” he said, “come and try to enliven the Princess Without a Smile: any one who succeeds shall gain her as his wife.” And as soon as he had said this all folk thronged up at the gates of the palace, driving up from all sides, coming on foot, Tsarévichi and princes’ sons, boyárs and noblemen, military folk and civil. Feasts were celebrated, rivers of mead flowed, and the Princess would not smile.

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But, at the other end of the town, in his own little hut, there dwelt an honourable labourer. Every morning he used to sweep out the courtyard: every evening he used to pasture the cattle, and he was engaged in 134ceaseless labour. His master was a rich man, a just man, and he did not begrudge pay. When the year came to an end he put a purse of money on the table, “Take,” he said, “as much as you like”; and the master went outside.

The workman went up to the table and thought, “How shall I not be guilty in the eyes of God if I take too much for my labour?” So he took only one little coin, put it into the hollow of his hand and thought he would have a little drink. So he went to the well, and the coin slipped through his fingers and fell to the bottom. So the poor fellow had nothing left. Now, anybody else in his place would have cried out, would have become melancholy and angry, might have put his hands up. He did nothing of the sort. “Everything,” he said, “comes from God. The Lord knows what He gives to each man, whose money He divides, from whom He takes the last money. Evidently I have given bad care, I have done little work; and now am I to become angry?”

So he set to work once more. And all that his hand touched flew like fire. Then, when the term was over, when one year more had gone by, the master again put a purse of money on the table: “Take,” he said, “as much as your soul desires”; and he himself went outside.

Then again the labourer thought how he should not offend God, how he should not take too much for his work. So he took one coin and he went to have a little drink at the well. In some way or other the money fell from his hands and the coin tumbled into the well and was lost.

So he set to work even more obstinately: at night he would not sleep and by day he would not eat. Other men saw their corn grow dry and yellow, but his master’s corn prospered amain. Some men’s cattle became bowlegged, 135but his master’s gambolled in the street. And the horses of some masters fell downhill, but his master’s could not be kept to the bridle. The master knew very well whom he must thank, to whom he must render gratitude. So, when the third year came to an end, he laid a pile of money on the table: “Take, my dear man, as much as your soul desires. It is your work, and it is your money”; and he went out of the room.

Once more the workman took a single coin, went to the well for a drink of water and looked, and the lost money floated up to the surface: so he took them, and he then felt sure that God had rewarded him for his labour. He was joyous and thought, “It is now the time for me to go and look at the white world and to learn of people.” So he thought this, and he went out whither his eyes gazed.

He went on to the field, and he saw a mouse running: “My friend, my dear gossip, give me a coin; I will be of service to you.”

So he gave the mouse a coin.

Then he went to the forest, and a beetle crept up and said, “My friend, my dear gossip, give me a coin; I will be of service to you.”

So he gave him the second coin.

Then he came up to the stream, and he met a sheat-fish. “My friend, my dear gossip, give me a coin; I shall be of service to you.”

And he could not refuse him, so he gave his last coin.

So then he came into the city. Oh, it was so thronged! All the doors were opened, and he looked, and the workman turned in all directions, and he did not know where to go. In front of him stood the Tsar’s palace decked with gold and silver, and at the window the Tsarévna Without a Smile sat and gazed on him straight. What should he do? The light in his eyes turned dark, and a sleep fell on him, and he fell straight into the mud. 136Up came the sheat-fish with his big whiskers, and after him the beetle and the mouse: they all ran up, they all pressed round him and did all the service they could. The little mouse took his coat: the beetle cleaned his boots, and the sheat-fish drove away the flies. The Princess Without a Smile gazed on their services, and she smiled.

“Who is he who has enlivened my daughter?” cried the King. One man said “I,” and another man said “I.”

“No,” said the Princess, “that is the man there”; and she pointed out the workman.

Instantly he was taken into the palace, and the workman stood in the imperial presence, a youth such as never was: then the Tsar kept his princely word and gave what he had promised.

I am saying it. Was not this a mere dream? Did not the workman only dream it? They assure me this is not the fact, and that it all happened in real truth; so you must believe it.

10 Things You Should Know About Russia

Russia is an immensely huge and diverse country. Following are 10 things you should know about this immense country.

10 Things To Know About Russia

The largest country in the world, Russia is a conundrum wrapped up in an enigma, which has been shaken, twisted and stirred over the centuries. There are so many contradictions in the country, that it is often hard to say anything is absolute in Russia. Still, here are a few things that you should know and might just surprise you.

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1. Each year, the President of Russia has a press conference with journalists held for two hours on live television. No other leader in the world is required to do this nor does.

2. Founded in the 12th century, the Principality of Muscovy, was dominated for over 200 years by the Mongols.

3. Under Peter the Great, 1682 to 1725, Russia was extended to the Baltic Sea and the country was renamed the Russian Empire.

"The Romanovs achieved prominence as boyars of the Grand Duchy of Moscow and later the Tsardom of Russia under the reigning Rurik dynasty, which became extinct upon the death of Tsar Feodor I in 1598. The Time of Troubles was caused by the resulting succession crisis, where several pretenders and imposters (False Dmitris) fought for the crown during the Polish–Muscovite War. On 21 February 1613, Michael Romanov was elected Tsar of Russia by the Zemsky Sobor, establishing the Romanovs as Russia's second reigning dynasty. Michael's grandson Peter I established the Russian Empire in 1721, transforming the country into a great power through a series of wars and reforms. The direct male line of the Romanovs ended when Elizabeth of Russia died in 1762 leading the House of Holstein-Gottorp, a cadet branch of the German House of Oldenburg that reigned in Denmark, to ascend to the crown under Peter III.^[2] Officially known as the House of Romanov, descendants after Elizabeth are sometimes referred to as "Holstein-Gottorp-Romanov".^[3] The abdication of Tsar Nicholas II on 15 March 1917 as a result of the February Revolution ended 304 years of Romanov rule, establishing the Russian Republic under the Russian Provisional Government in the lead up to the Russian Civil War. In 1918, the Tsar and his family were executed by the Bolsheviks and the 47 survivors of the House of Romanov's 65 members went into exile abroad.^{[4]"  source: Wikipedia}

 

4. In 1917, The Communists under Vladimir Lenin seized power and formed the USSR.

5. Following the death of Lenin, Josef Stalin became the supreme ruler of Russia. He killed more of his own citizens than the Nazis terminated in World War II.

6. General Secretary Mikhail Gorbachev tried to put severe limits on the amount of vodka sold in the country, but gave up after Russians started brewing their own.

7. Russians beer contains varying degrees of vodka.

8. Russia has massive naturally resources including oil, diamonds, natural gas, coal, gold and timber.

9. The population of Russia was estimated in 2005 to be 143,420,309. The population is stagnating and the government now offers financial incentives to couples that have children.

10. There are approximately 10 million more woman than men in Russia.

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To really understand Russia, one need only look at the flag of the country. It is adorned with a two headed eagle, with one head looking to the west and one to the east. Practically speaking, this is demonstrative of Russia's geography. Being so very large, the country is really many in one. The areas found in the west such as Moscow and St. Petersburg look to and are influenced by Europe. The areas in the Far East such as Vladivostok have a much more Asian feel.

Anyway you slice it, Russia is an amazing country. If the opportunity presents itself to take a trip to the country, you should snap it up.

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