Online Dating: How to Overcome the Stress and Nerves with the First Date

 Online Dating: How to Overcome the Stress and Nerves with the First Date

As an individual raised with little opportunity to develop social skills, I had a particularly difficult time with the dating scene. I am happily married now, but during my years of dating, I felt that it would never happen. With the many years using online dating services, I have learned many useful ways of establishing positive initial interaction. In this article I will share with you ideas that will give you a little more ease with dating and coping with the anxiety on the first date.

First, there are a few questions we must address and bring out into the open. How much should we get to know the potential date before meeting? What discussion or prefacing is required with your potential date prior to the meeting? How does this potential date feel about you, or does this person also share in this anxiety? After the rendezvous is established where will you meet to insure safety, enjoyment and relaxation?

Lets dive into the first question: How much should we get to know the potential date before meeting? This question begs of the actual legitimacy of the potential date. Is this, person really genuine? What is this persons background? These questions are not as easy to answer, but we can start with the following. The method of communication is incredibly important. Phone communication although a little nerve racking, can break the ice and establish an initial understanding of who this person is. Try to avoid creating a mental image of this person as this can really increase expectations and also give the other person an unfair disadvantage (i.e. relating the voice to a physical mental image). The phone conversation can also shed light on this person’s general character.

This leads to what discussions or prefacing is required. It is important to acknowledge that this place we live is very diverse and the person’s character is one of the most important attributes of desirability. Be softly direct when inquiring about his or her background without invoking the feeling that you are drilling the person which is a real “turn-off”. I have used this idea many times which turn’s out to be a really enjoyable exercise. Write down a few background questions to ask prior to calling the potential date and go from there. The conversation can take on with its own energy from there and it will be very easy to get a good feeling for the person. That is to say, if the person is not forthright, it will most likely come through in the conversation.

In most cases, the other person will exhibit the same anxiety as you. Keep this in mind, as it will help your nerves a little. Being confident, honest, direct and respectful will help you and the date feel an increased level of comfort whether your on the phone, or on the first date.

On this first date, make sure that you select, or mutually agree to a place that will help the date flourishes but keep the other person wanting more. Obviously, you should select a meeting place that is well lit and where there will be many eyes watching you for increased safety. However, the place that you will spend the most time should be softly lit so that most of the concentration can be focused on the content of the conversation and less on physical characteristics. More importantly, span the first date no more than that of a small snack. You can consider this a “weed-out” session. If there is chemistry during the date, he or she will leave waiting more. Conversely, if there is no chemistry, not much time was lost and not much money was spent.

Remember, these important ideas to engender ease and confidence during the initial contact through online dating services. Choose a method of communication prior to the meeting that will help you determine the persons forthrightness. Understand that the other person is probably feeling the same level of anxiety to which you can offer the comfort. Finally, choose a place that demonstrates safety and allows for a short but memorable experience.

Secret Flirting Tips and Flirting Advice for Meeting, Dating and Romancing Hot Single Girls.

Discover secret flirting tips and flirting advice for meeting, dating and romancing hot single girls. If done right, they might flirt back!

I know, I know who wants to get flirting advice from a middle-aged man? When you picture this situation, you probably see yourself sitting in front of the television, beer in hand, trying not to roll your eyes at the flirting advice coming from the mouth of a man with a beer gut and a middle-aged wife nagging him. Conversely, you might be envisioning getting flirting advice from a smooth-talking guy with slicked-back hair who gets the ladies because hes got deep pockets. But this is not that kind of flirting advice and its not coming from that kind of middle-aged man. No, instead, this middle-aged man is the one who is average looking and of average income but who has years of experience in the changing world of flirtation and has developed flirting advice which works more often than not. This flirting advice is good for both men and women of any sexual orientation.

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The best of the flirting advice gained through hard experience is the rule that if you've got it, flaunt it. This is followed quickly by the lesson that if you don't have it, you shouldn't display it. This flirting advice applies not only to the physical but also to other levels of flirting interaction. How many times have you been around that guy who told a joke, and everyone laughed to be polite, so he told a dozen more? You don't want to be that guy.

What you learn as you go through years of flirting is that there are very few people who have it all. You just aren't going to be the most beautiful, smartest, most powerful, most charming, funniest person in the room, because that one person just doesn't exist. As a middle-aged man, I'm just not going to have the body of a twenty-year-old guy. But what I do have is my own collection of traits and experiences. The best flirting advice I can offer is that you have to realize what your strengths are and make use of displaying those strengths to others in a way, which is natural for you. The purpose of flirtation is to interest another person in you, so showing them what's great about you is the way to go.

The other critical piece of flirting advice I can offer is that flirting is supposed to be fun. You should enjoy it for what it is, rather that always aiming for a specific goal and being disappointed if you don't achieve it. For example, if you are flirting with a girl across the room at a club, and she invites you to dance, but you don't leave with her number, you can have two reactions. One is to be disappointed that your flirtation didn't lead to a whirlwind romance. The other is to be happy with the fact that your flirtation interested her in dancing and you probably had a good time while doing it. Flirtation doesn't always lead to satisfaction, which is what keeps us all interested in the game. It's the reason that people who are perfectly happy in their committed relationships often flirt with others. We like to be liked and some of the best flirting advice I've found is that there should be just as much pleasure in the chase as there is in the catch.

Related to this is the flirting advice which starts with being comfortable with who you are. As you get older, you realized that most people aren't paying attention to your flaws nearly as much as you are. You are your own worst critic when you should be your own best friend. If you take nothing else away from this flirting advice, take this: if you are a person who enjoys flirting and does it appropriately, your flirtation will usually be well received.